2006 Fan Fair

Hey guys. It has been a very long time since I’ve blogged. Well, mom said I should avoid risky business when approaching the end of the year. That is, based on my own track record, that I should not touch my blog. So months went by without me even thinking of viewing the chatterbox. Who knows? I might even be electrocuted. Now, few days into the new year, I think I’m good to start.



It has been a whirlwind of a year this 2006 is. Many things had come and gone and I have no idea of where to start with, which also means that I’ve got a good excuse of finishing my blog here and now. Yet, knowing that there is no moral incentive to quit, I think I’ll better start talking rubbish instead.



I’ve always told my mom the most exciting thing to look forward to at year’s end besides Christmas is the yearly obituary. In other words, it’s who and who that has passed away during the previous year. In the deep recesses of my mind, something instinctive, something intuitive has always urged me to applaud and build my empire of happiness on other people’s sorrow. It never fails to amuse me, you know?



Of course, being a scrooge myself I’m not very willing to share my innards with all of you. All I can show and tell is some of the less non-notable highlights.



Many a people asked me what sort of a movie-going person am I? What sort of television programmes do I watch? Or, being born with a nerdy look, do I actually know the monitor-like black box in my house that my grandma used to borrow reflections to comb her hair when my sister is hording the toilet is actually a television?

I said, yeah. Of course I know what a television is. And I like to watch a variety of programmes especially those where the characters wear no clothes. No bras. No skirts. No panties.

And they asked again. Serious?

Well, actually no, there’s still one with the khakis. Steve Irwin.

It is a sad day to all conservationists the day they lost the champion. I don’t care that some says that he is a nuisance and that he can’t stop disturbing the wildlife. To me, I think all the critics are unfit to carry his shoes. By showing no fear in handling the animals, Steve told us which is tame and which is not. And for the latter, that they are not constantly looking to mess with us. If some of you find his way vile, crude and barbaric, please point your finger first to the directors of JAWS, BOA vs. PYTHON, ANACONDA, the MUMMY etc. These are the movies that fuel fears in man and made us discriminate and miss understand. In fact, so misunderstood I was that I spent a week away from the tub after JAWS.



Sometime between last year and the year before, an old and fatigue man with unkempt hair and dirty clothes were dragged up from the spider hole. I thought that it was very laughable that a notorious mass murderer should squeak like a mouse in his twilight years. I thought my, oh my, this will be the laughing stock till kingdom come. Yet, god willing, his enemies are so thick he was finally able to redeem himself at the very end. How on earth can a man be so calm and resilient when making the final steps to the gallows?? And it must be stressed that he has more dress sense than Madonna.

Yes. Saddam was no angel. He was probably from the same mould as Emperor Chin and Hitler. In fact he and Vlad the Impaler are the best of friends. However, in every sense, it still does not justify the way U.S. carry out the execution, which main purpose was to deny him a chance to celebrate the new year as a devote Muslim. And whose sadistic mind came up with the idea of making the execution into a public spectacle turned public fiasco? As a consequence, there’s more unrest in Iraq, people who adored him emulated him even in the way he died, people thinks that he is a martyr, and worst of all, the name Saddam Hussein is so popular that there’s an army of children in a village in Bihar, India called Saddam Husseins. 15 years from now, reading the newspapers will be next to impossible!!!

‘There was a public outcry in Saddam Hussien yesterday when Justice Saddam Hussein declared that the defendant Dr Saddam Hussein guilty for negligence because the plaintiff Mrs. Saddam Hussein, who was given contraceptives, conceived the now born healthy baby named Saddam Hussein during the treatment period. However, in a twist of events, according to medical reports, the baby was not fathered by Saddam Hussein, but by an adulterer of the same name. According to Mr. Saddam Hussein’s close friend, Mr. Saddam Hussein, their marriage was already in tatters well before Mr. Saddam Hussein left with his colleague, Mr. Saddam Hussein for a business trip on behalf of Hussein Inc. Report by Saddam Hussein.’

God bless those who work for a CEO of the same name.

I think the most terrible thing that the original Saddam Hussien did was to trust America like he used to. Personally, I still think that Bush envies Saddam’s looks. Hmm…I can almost smell it… Saddam Cheong Hu Sin……