Happy Birthday to me!!!

Phew…a day came and gone and now I’m still staring into oblivion. Any how, it is time for me to say thank you too all who have celebrated my birthday together with me, Oscar style. First of all, I would like to thank my mom…blah blah blah…my dad…blah blah blah…my sisters…my sisters’ boyfriends…blah blah blah…especially to Kek Ea Ter, wish you luck and all the best in your ‘endeavour’…without you I would have trouble slicing the cake into 7 pieces…thanks also to Si Jian and my thoughtful friend from Aussie land…Esther…(its so sweet of you to send me the card!), Zac Wong etc… Thanks everybody and thanks again for your presents.

This birthday is by far my most memorable, even if compared to the time I managed to milk mom to triple my Ang Pow as my birthday fell on the first day of Chinese New Year.

I think I received my best birthday ever by being able to give happiness to other people. First and foremost, I was needed to do a 3 km night run for some one dear to me and I was able to do it under 25 minutes, which was very, very good considering that I need to cross busy streets and stumble into an amorous couple sprawled naked in the black alley.

Next was trying to apologise and make up to my first ever client. So sorry that I gave her cock eye and Julia Robert's mouth. I hope this is much better though there are still some adjustments to be made.



A penny for your thought on who she is. Leave the name in the comment box. I hope that this is not a tough one.

The last one, was, unfortunately, helping someone to finish and tidy up her debate speech. I think some things are better left unsaid. Haha!!

Happy Birthday?

Today marks the ending of a sweet score of years that I, of all others, was able to enjoy, and with hope, tomorrow will mark the beginning of another.

It certainly meant a lot to me. 20 years of joy and sadness (though the latter rules most, it made the former sweeter still) now comes to a wrap up. I was reading the newspaper together with my mom the other day, and then all of the sudden, I realized the passing of time, no thanks to the great grand old maid that is Chong Wen Ching.

On the very verge of my golden years (maybe, well on second thought, probably not), I reflected on my past, straining my grey matters to locate even the slightest of my achievements so far, which as usual, came to naught.

Despaired and in desperation, I asked mom what have I been doing all these years. Am I a filial child? Have I any skill or trade that might make you proud? Am I standing at the pinnacle of human evolution because I still have no girlfriend? (I mean, if I can’t get a girlfriend, obviously I can’t be getting married. And if I can’t be getting married, I won’t be able to have any children. There will be no person after me, right? That means my genes had reached an evolutionary dead end, right?) In fact, I even pressed further and asked her, “Mom, why am I not a gifted child?”

“Well, of course you are. Don't be silly. If we ever have to pay for you, we would have picked a much better one. Anyway, don’t ask me anything. I passed my first 20 years 4 decades ago. Now go haunt your father instead.”

So much for family togetherness. I think one reason Malaysia can’t progress is because of this but I have no qualms about it. 20 years of good home-cooked food is a godsend.

Speaking of food, it leads to the fact that I can’t hold my 21st birthday party because my grandma is admitted into the hospital. It is now 2 weeks since she is first hooked on an oxygen tank. Her heart is failing but her condition was much better yesterday. Her body is small and frail but there was the usual impish twinkle in her eyes where I find home.

Now, apart from wishing my grandma good health, I’ll also be hankering for MU to bury Arsenal 6-0 in premier league competition tonight and thus go 9 points clear off Chelsea. I hope that Park ‘oxygen tank’ Ji Sung will take part too. It’s a long, long time since MU wins the premiership.

Park Ji Sung

So, tomorrow will mark another ‘glorious?’ chapter in my life. I wish to extend my thanks to all my friends of my first 2 decades for staying and standing by me. Hopefully we can still be stand together in many years to come. Three cheers to another score of inter-buddy-entertainment!!!

2006 Fan Fair

Hey guys. It has been a very long time since I’ve blogged. Well, mom said I should avoid risky business when approaching the end of the year. That is, based on my own track record, that I should not touch my blog. So months went by without me even thinking of viewing the chatterbox. Who knows? I might even be electrocuted. Now, few days into the new year, I think I’m good to start.



It has been a whirlwind of a year this 2006 is. Many things had come and gone and I have no idea of where to start with, which also means that I’ve got a good excuse of finishing my blog here and now. Yet, knowing that there is no moral incentive to quit, I think I’ll better start talking rubbish instead.



I’ve always told my mom the most exciting thing to look forward to at year’s end besides Christmas is the yearly obituary. In other words, it’s who and who that has passed away during the previous year. In the deep recesses of my mind, something instinctive, something intuitive has always urged me to applaud and build my empire of happiness on other people’s sorrow. It never fails to amuse me, you know?



Of course, being a scrooge myself I’m not very willing to share my innards with all of you. All I can show and tell is some of the less non-notable highlights.



Many a people asked me what sort of a movie-going person am I? What sort of television programmes do I watch? Or, being born with a nerdy look, do I actually know the monitor-like black box in my house that my grandma used to borrow reflections to comb her hair when my sister is hording the toilet is actually a television?

I said, yeah. Of course I know what a television is. And I like to watch a variety of programmes especially those where the characters wear no clothes. No bras. No skirts. No panties.

And they asked again. Serious?

Well, actually no, there’s still one with the khakis. Steve Irwin.

It is a sad day to all conservationists the day they lost the champion. I don’t care that some says that he is a nuisance and that he can’t stop disturbing the wildlife. To me, I think all the critics are unfit to carry his shoes. By showing no fear in handling the animals, Steve told us which is tame and which is not. And for the latter, that they are not constantly looking to mess with us. If some of you find his way vile, crude and barbaric, please point your finger first to the directors of JAWS, BOA vs. PYTHON, ANACONDA, the MUMMY etc. These are the movies that fuel fears in man and made us discriminate and miss understand. In fact, so misunderstood I was that I spent a week away from the tub after JAWS.



Sometime between last year and the year before, an old and fatigue man with unkempt hair and dirty clothes were dragged up from the spider hole. I thought that it was very laughable that a notorious mass murderer should squeak like a mouse in his twilight years. I thought my, oh my, this will be the laughing stock till kingdom come. Yet, god willing, his enemies are so thick he was finally able to redeem himself at the very end. How on earth can a man be so calm and resilient when making the final steps to the gallows?? And it must be stressed that he has more dress sense than Madonna.

Yes. Saddam was no angel. He was probably from the same mould as Emperor Chin and Hitler. In fact he and Vlad the Impaler are the best of friends. However, in every sense, it still does not justify the way U.S. carry out the execution, which main purpose was to deny him a chance to celebrate the new year as a devote Muslim. And whose sadistic mind came up with the idea of making the execution into a public spectacle turned public fiasco? As a consequence, there’s more unrest in Iraq, people who adored him emulated him even in the way he died, people thinks that he is a martyr, and worst of all, the name Saddam Hussein is so popular that there’s an army of children in a village in Bihar, India called Saddam Husseins. 15 years from now, reading the newspapers will be next to impossible!!!

‘There was a public outcry in Saddam Hussien yesterday when Justice Saddam Hussein declared that the defendant Dr Saddam Hussein guilty for negligence because the plaintiff Mrs. Saddam Hussein, who was given contraceptives, conceived the now born healthy baby named Saddam Hussein during the treatment period. However, in a twist of events, according to medical reports, the baby was not fathered by Saddam Hussein, but by an adulterer of the same name. According to Mr. Saddam Hussein’s close friend, Mr. Saddam Hussein, their marriage was already in tatters well before Mr. Saddam Hussein left with his colleague, Mr. Saddam Hussein for a business trip on behalf of Hussein Inc. Report by Saddam Hussein.’

God bless those who work for a CEO of the same name.

I think the most terrible thing that the original Saddam Hussien did was to trust America like he used to. Personally, I still think that Bush envies Saddam’s looks. Hmm…I can almost smell it… Saddam Cheong Hu Sin……