New Genre of Bapa Ayam!!!

Red alert guys. Be afraid. Be very very afraid. There is a new version of Bapa Ayam in town. More suave, more style and more persuasive then ever before, these Bapa Ayam will pimp you in no time.

Well it happened last Saturday, when i was at Sri Petaling's Lrt station. I've got a date with my sisters and i was supposed to wait for them at about 6.30p.m. over there. There is a bus stop right in front of the station and it was there where i chosed to sit and wait, cracking my head on Stephen Hawking's A Brief History Of Time along the way.

I started waiting at about 6.20p.m., occasionally lifting my eyes from my book to scan the road. There were some 10-15 people over there, decent blokes i should say.

I was very engrossed in my reading. People came and left without me noticing. I really don't mind waiting over there for an hour or more. Nevertheless, at about 6.40p.m., i looked up again to make sure my sisters have not arrived yet. Well, one never knows whether they drove by a few times, missed my ugly face and start curing me, right? Suddenly, out of the blue, a thin, skinny man, dark in complexion, dressed unassumingly in typical T-shirt and shorts, holding a plastic bag in one hand and standing some 1.5 metres in front of me, turned his face away from the road and looked towards me. His mouth was slightly ajar and i thought i saw only 2 nicotine+coffee stained teeth in his lower jaw when he gave me a wry smile.

I gave him the 'I know kungfu don't mess with me' kinda look and resumed my reading. Yet, undeterred the man who i think was in his mid 30's try to strike a conversation with me.

He said in Mandarin:" Wah, waited very long oh? The stupid Intrakota bus never come on time. What time is it now?"

"Er, 6.40" Resuming my reading.

"Did the bus come at 6.15? It always come at 6.15."

"Er, I don't know" Resuming my reading once again.

"Don't worry, the bus will definitely come at 7.15. They always do. They never go on for more than 45 minutes." (Obviously he failed his maths)

"Er, they'll never come on time. Sometimes, for 1 to 2 hours. You'll never know" I answered, resuming my readin yet again.

"No lah. The interval is never more than 45 minutes. You know, last time, there was once the Intrakota stick one notice on a post in the bus stand and said "Bas Rosak".....bla... bla... bla..." He kept on rambling on the bus service while helping himself to an empty seat next to me.

Throughout the conversation, i only said "ah....ahha.....ya.....er...."etc. I've met nagging aunties and uncles on buses before and they never stop trying to hook you up on a conversation. They are pretty harmless and i thought this was another typical homesick lonely man.

However.......
"Hey, You've always waited for the bus at this station right?"He asked suddenly.

"Er....No i did not" I've never waited for buses at Sri Petaling's station before and his remark made me cautious.

"Yes you did! I've alwasy see you wait for the bus here around this time"

"No. It must be a case of mistaken identity" Getting afraid.

"Yes. I've seen you before. Where did you stay?"

I realised where this conversation is heading and I gave a pretty clever/stupid answer...."Sri Petaling loh"

"Eh this is Sri Petaling, issn't it?"

"Em... Near The Store"

"Oh... I see.... Well, would you like to have some fun with me?"

I screamed "Huh?????????? No no. I don't think i want to have fun with you"

"Don't worry. I can introduce 'zhai' to you"

I wondered the 'zhai' here means gay guys or girls. Anyhow, i shoke my head vigourously and said "no...no..."

" No need money one... no need money"

"No no no no no not interested...not interested" By now i'm shaking my head so much i can feel that i might shake out the fillings of my teeth.

"I give you my number....You want happy you call me..." And he fetched his phone.

" No No No"

"Why, there is nothing to worrry about what..." he tried to reason with me. " You looks is not bad..."

I would certainly want to nod my head but by this time my brain went out of sync and i regrettably shaked my head further.

"You got girlfriend or not?"

"No No No"

"Then there is no thing to be afraid of..."

"I'm not interested! I'm not interested!"

By this time my sisters came and quickly i ran off. It was such a nightmare. Some Bapa Ayam or Gay bastard tried to solicit sex from me. I'm now living in trauma. Why all Bapa Ayam in KL target me??? Gosh... girls, be careful.